1. |
PTA Karen
00:24
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Parent-Teacher Association
Pitiable organization
Hold them hostage with donations
For their dwindling trust fund
Kowtow to all my desires
And my kid, my perfect squire
Fuck with me and you'll get fired
PTA Karen gets shit done
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2. |
Scout Karen
00:43
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Undercover recon Karen
Target is the manager
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3. |
Jock Mom Karen
01:05
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Rolling up in my mini van
(So much safer than your sedan!)
The principal wants to
Have a chat
About my son's so-called
Indiscrections
This is slander, my precious
Chaz would never do such
Terrible things there must be
Some kind of misunderstanding
Boys will be boys and
Girls will be girls
Those lying sluts;
Just look at what they were wearing!
My son's the captain of the football
Squad that wasn't sexu'l harrassment
I'm going to sue the school for
This unreasonable treatment
And those bitch cheerleaders' parents
Will never hear the end of it
If my boy can't make his scholarship
For some bullshit court hearing
You will bow before the
Karen brood I'm going to
Sue the school for being
So fucking rude
And now with wine in hand
I will make my demands
A big fat settlement
Supreme entitlement
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4. |
Karen Versus the Manager
00:49
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Keys
Get into my Kia Telluride
Take a couple asp'rin for the drive
I need to fight off this fucking hangover
Can't start the day without my coffee first
Drank too much wine last night and my
Head's about to burst
Caramel macchiato
Is the elixir
To soothe my aching body and
Sate this mighty thirst
Barista stammers nervously
This day must be his first
"The steam machine is broken, ma'am,
We can't make this order"
The stupid little bastard,
I can't believe his words
I summon forth my Karen powers
And call the manager
"Get him!"
I guess I'll just have to take my
Business elsewhere I've been sitting
In this drivethrough for five minutes
I deserve some compensation
For this minor inconvenience
Give some free fucking coffee
Don't you know my husband's a cop
I'll give this place just one star on
Yelp
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5. |
Army of Karens
01:07
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There
On the horizon
A flock of avian
Bob-cut hair
No manager is
Safe from their wrath
Floor employees
Get no free pass
Karen squad is
On the warpath
Discount or they
Will have your ass
Marching on the plains towards the Pentagon
The biggest threat the country's seen since1941
Order to this chaos they
Feel they will bring
Complain away the plague and their
Praises we would sing
Blue Lives Matter, God and Country
MAGA Karen chuds
Wino Karen yoga Karen
Bathing in the blood
Of poor kids trying so damn hard to
Make a living wage
But decency's too much to ask for
In this day and age
Ah! They're marching
Onwards to
Their golden dawn of
Victory
None will stand and
All shall fall as
Gabriel sounds his
Clarion call
World shall come to its true end
By way of army of Karens
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Army of Karens Burnaby, British Columbia
It started as a one-off comment in a group chat, but now it is legion. When there's no more room in the manager's office,
the Karens shall walk the earth!
Karen Spear and Karen Storm are here, using viciously funny grind to demand everybody bend to their will! What will you do when confronted by the Army of Karens?
... more
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